"Thinking back on it, this evening, with my heart and my stomach all like jelly, I have finally concluded, maybe that's what life is about: there's a lot of despair, but also the odd moment of beauty, where time is no longer the same. It's as if those strains of music created a sort of interlude in time, something suspended, an elsewhere that had come to us, an always within never.
Yes, that's it, an always within never.
Don't worry Renee, I won't commit suicide and I won't burn a thing.
Because from now on, for you, I'll be searching for those moments of always within never.
Beauty, in this world."
I need to read more books like this one. They challenge my intellect and make me ponder the wonders of life in an entirely different way. I highly recommend this wonderful book.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Usually, Christmas is, by far, my favorite time of year. I love the music, smells, food, presents, decorations, pretty much all of it. This year though, I've had a harder time getting into the Christmas spirit. Maybe it has to do with Adam being gone for 2 of the weeks in December, or maybe it has to do with my general feeling of being overwhelmed with my calling. I'm blessed to be in the best presidency (Heavenly Father really knew what he was doing when he sent those women my way), plus I'm blessed with a very supportive, wonderful bishop, but, I still feel overwhelmed and underqualified. I have felt some of the blessings of this calling though, don't get me wrong. I'm definitely becoming better at hearing and following the promptings of the Spirit and it was been wonderful to interact with so many women. I really am trying.
However, I have been so behind in my shopping, baking and sewing for the holidays this year. Today, finally, the Christmas spirit has really hit me. Adam and I wrapped all the presents today and I'm almost finished with the jammies. I've been blasting the Christmas music and just feeling the general excitement of the season.
I do feel so blessed to have the gospel in my life. What a joy it is to celebrate the birth of the Savior. I have really been counting my blessings today.
I'm grateful for:
-a husband who knows what I'm really like and still loves me anyway
-3 wonderful children who have taught me so much
-having my parents live with us (yes, it truly is a blessing!)
-a warm home and snuggly blankets
-food on my table and in my fridge all the time
-adam having a job that supports our family so I can stay home
-the ability to read and write
-my sewing machine
-college football--GO BUCKEYES!!
-my dogs, even though they drive adam nuts
-having my sister and her family living 5 minutes away from me (who knew my entire family would eventually migrate to Utah???)
-living so close to so many temples
--most of all, my Savior and Redeemer
Merry Christmas everyone!